I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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