The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize