i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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