That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
