Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I could make wine with my vomit
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
