I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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