i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
