Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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