Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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