I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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