is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
where are my eyebrows?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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