Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
