but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
