i think my tv is drunk
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
