is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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