Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
