I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
