we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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