Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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