dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize