What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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