Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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