you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i believe in u and ur pee
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
