honey bunches of taint.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize