I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
