that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
