She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
