Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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