OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
