You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Me. At least after what I've been through.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
