i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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