i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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