Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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