Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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