david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
