Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
