we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
