How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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