I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize