foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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