I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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