Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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