i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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