Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
