no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
