But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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