How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
