Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
