Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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