the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
