i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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