I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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