Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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