I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize