and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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