PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
