NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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