Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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